Training for the Army, Part 2

Still waiting on orders, which is getting to be a trial of patience on a Biblical scale. How do you get ready to move, sell your house, pack your stuff (or sell your stuff), plan a smooth departure from work, make arrangements to see friends and family, plan a vacation, get into SoldierShape and get ready for a massive sea-change in lifestyle, all while not knowing which continent you are going to be living on in two months? Well, ask me again in two months and I will be able to tell you.

For now, we still only have the date of my training start, which actually complicates things, since it means if the house doesn't sell, that Dana will have to come back to Colorado on her own and finalize everything by herself while I learn how to throw hand grenades. Of course, she is completely capable of doing it by herself, but it is not a prospect she is exactly looking forward to.

For now we are trying to stay focused on what we CAN do, such as selling the house and getting my sorry carcass into SoldierShape. We listed on Wednesday, so if you know anyone who is thinking of moving to Aurora, CO, please tell them that there is a pristine, adorable, magical and attractive home for sale at well below market value with absolutely 0 damage or repairs needed. We really have taken very good care of our home. (Seriously, if you know anyone who is thinking of moving to the Denver area, please send them our way.) [Seriously.]

As to the SoldierShape aspect, I made my first real gains in the fitness arena. My first 2 mile run was embarrassing. My time was somewhere around 25 minutes, including stops to talk to my wife, who I think had driven out to find me and make sure I was still alive. My second run time was more precisely measured, and came in at 21:30, and my third came in at 20:19. I will not be racing in the Olympics any time soon, but I was pleased with myself that I knocked over a minute off in a day's time.

The other two parts of the fitness test are push ups and sit ups. On the push ups I am close. I can crank out 30 without difficulty, and should be able to work up to the 40 needed relatively easily over two months. The sit ups are a different story. Sometime between my wrestling days and now, I appear to have misplaced my abs. I thought they were just hiding under my new upholstery, but it turns out that I have lost them entirely, and will have to grow new ones from scratch. For the test I will need to produce at least 45 sit ups. At present, I am on the verge of a hernia just trying to eek out 18. This is both puzzling and embarrassing. I blame it on Carl's Junior, my massive head, and 6 years of sitting on my can for a living. (For the record, and because she insisted, Dana can do 50 situps. There is no end to my flabby shame.)

So, over the last three days of training, I have succeeded in making every major muscle group painfully sore, dropped more than a minute off my run time, and had a rude reality check about my strength to body weight ratio. I am optimistic that I can still make the minimums relatively easily, but the sit up number has got to climb in a hurry.