Bathroom Stall BFF

So here is my dilemma: I am a pretty healthy guy, bulging waistline notwithstanding. There are aspects of my general physical health that are very dependable. Regular, you might say. The result of this. . . regularity is that I find myself leaving my office virtually daily at or very close to 10:00am. I take a short stroll down the hall, past the secretaries, turn right at the corner, go through the double doors, and then enter the large, echoing, tile-floored room on the right.

There is nothing extraordinary about this by itself. Quite natural, and a welcome respite from the work day. Not the most pleasant of respites, but that is not to be avoided. However, recently something extraordinary has been happening to me during these excursions.

Here is the scenario: I enter the little boy's room, and take care of my -ahem- business. While I am in there, as compromised as I tend to ever be on a daily basis, I have been startled to find that someone else in the building is, well, digesting on the same schedule as me. It plays out like this - I enter the stall, yadda-yadda-yadda, then, mid-business, a mystery person enters the stall next to me, and starts his own business. The thing is, it is always the same guy!

I mean, having a stall neighbor is never comfortable. It is not exactly a social activity I am engaged in. That discomfort is compounded exponentially when it is the same guy over and over. All I know about this man is that he wears brown wing tip shoes, and is on the same digestive plan as me. Suffice it to say, when he enters, I hastily make my exit.

But what is the socially appropriate thing to do? How many times do I have this encounter before I break the ice, and start up conversation? And what would I possibly say? "So, brown-wing-tip guy. I am black-slip-on man. Did you have Cheerios for breakfast, too?"

No, I don't think there is any way to make this not awkward. The only saving grace is that I haven't met brown-wing-tip man outside of the stalls. If I did, I might not feel comfortable shaking his hands. After all, I do know where he has been.